Case Files by Ninkita
by Words of Love for Meli
Summary: "Suspicions, Unicorns, and neighbors across the hall. What you see, what I see, and what isn't there at all." Will Bella manage to solve the case of the Stealthy Schoolteacher, and get her man?
1. Chapter 1

**Case Files**

Summary: "Suspicions, Unicorns, and neighbors across the hall. What you see, what I see, and what isn't there at all." Will Bella manage to solve the case of the Stealthy Schoolteacher, and get her man?

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: T

Pairing: Edward x Bella

Disclaimer: All the usual stuff… I don't own Twilight or Nancy Drew. I wouldn't know what to do with them if I did.

 **Chapter 1.**

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _March 5, 2016_

 _3 pm: Subject has left his apartment in a covert manner, for unspecified destination._

…

Ever since I moved into my new apartment over six months ago, my life has been shrouded in mystery.

Alright, that was over-dramatic. There is really just one mystery, and he lives across the hall. Edward Cullen is tall, handsome, well-read, intelligent, polite, helpful, and has a smile that makes my insides mush. When I first met him, I thought he must be like a unicorn—I honestly believed men like him were mythical creatures, created by wicked writers to ensure that people like me live in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction with the actual human male population.

But no, he's the real deal. He was the guy who helped me lug my furniture and bags up three flights of stairs when I moved in. When we had that city-wide blackout, he remembered my unreasonable fear of darkness, brought me candles, and organized a cosy living room campout for the two of us. I really believe if I ever asked him, he would buy me tampons without grumbling... much.

This does not mean he's any less of a guy. I mean, he has the good parts, but he also has the not-so-appealing parts. For instance, it's a good thing that he's particular about fitness, and goes for a run every day. May I just say yummy abs? It is, however, not such a great thing when he comes back sweaty and stinky and gross, and thinks it's ok to hang out that way for a bit until he 'cools off' enough to shower. Nor is it great practice to recycle underwear by turning it inside out. I don't think anyone really wants to know how I know about that one. See, that right there, is proof he's not a figment of my imagination... because in my imagination, he'd just go commando, and then... well, let's not go there.

To cut a long story short, ever since I met Edward Cullen, he has charmed me far more than he has grossed me out. I am crushing hard on this man, and based on evidence, it does seem as though he is really into me as well.

In fact, about four months ago, Alice got me smashed on margaritas and then sneakily made me spill all my deepest, darkest desires about my dishy neighbor. We actually got pen and paper and made a list of things that prove that he's into me. It was a pretty long list, let me tell you. But the thing is, despite all the proof in the world, he still hasn't tried to even set a pinky toe across the line of friendship.

At first, I got a little disheartened, and figured I had read him all wrong. Maybe he only liked me as a friend, and it was unfair that I was projecting these other feelings and desires on him. So I gave in to Angela's pestering and went on a date with Paul from her office. He was a nice guy, nice looking, nicely dressed, nice smelling and so on. You know, just nice. Not spectacular, or thrilling, or Edward.

I was just stepping out to leave with Paul, when Edward jogged up the stairs, in his stinky running shoes, his grey shirt saturated with sweat, outlining every hard, defined muscle on his body. His hair was plastered to his forehead, and sweat beaded his upper lip. I shouldn't have found it hot when he licked at his lip, right? Wrong. I nearly passed out from the desire to get naked and sweaty right alongside him.

What got me even more hot and bothered was the way he looked me up and down, and the way his eyes got all dark and broody. Then he looked at Paul, and he looked furious—nostrils flaring, jaw tight, fists clenched, making his forearms look all strong and sinewy.

I almost dragged Paul away, both to prevent the carnage I was sure was a minute away from being unleashed in my hallway, and to stop myself from attacking Edward like a lioness in heat. The rest of the evening was pleasant, but I had no qualms about sending Paul on his way without any delusions of 'seeing where it went'. I already knew where I wanted to go, and now for the first time, it seemed like my fantasies were not entirely in my own head.

…

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Saturday, March 5, 2016_

 _6 pm: Subject returned to apartment in furtive manner, carrying a small bag. Note: not his gym bag, but similar, only smaller. When asked in a friendly manner where he had been that afternoon, he gave evasive answers. Finally said he had to meet a college friend. Highly suspicious behavior._

…

In the last few months, I have tried to step up my game. My first step was to start wearing tops that were a) sheer, b) low cut, c) backless, d) thin enough to see my bra through, or e) all of the above. Also skirts, and jeans that are a right pain to pull on or off. I have decent assets, so Alice says it's a crime not to show them off.

Needless to say, this was supplemented with several fruitful trips to Victoria's Secret.

The effects were immediate and rather gratifying. When I likened Edward to a unicorn, I didn't just mean he was too good to be true. He packs a sizeable magic stick in his shorts, as well. And the subtle shift in my wardrobe has given me plenty of opportunities to see his unicorn spring to life. Sometimes when I bend over, or bite my lip, or even just stretch out along the couch while we watch movies at his place or mine, I can see the unicorn twitch. I pretend not to notice, and Edward shifts around and adjusts himself when he thinks I'm not looking.

But I'm looking.

Once I was sure he saw me in that light, I moved onto step two: food. My grandma used to say it every mealtime, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I tend to agree. I have a definite advantage in this area, since I have always loved cooking. Plus, I am tight with Esme, Edward's mom, and got her to spill on all his favorites.

I had him eating out of the palm of my hand, sometimes literally. Turns out, it was his favorite comfort thing as a kid to curl up with his head in Esme's lap and have her feed him. So when he came home from work looking especially tired and frustrated, I dragged him over to my place, made him lie down comfortably with his head on my lap, and fed him bites of apple pie. He might have licked my fingers a few times. I saw how it made him hard, and tried not to let him see how it made me want him to lick other parts of me.

…

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Wednesday, March 9, 2016_

 _3 pm: Subject is once again behaving suspiciously. He has just left his apartment, first making sure no one was around. As viewed through the peephole, he was carrying the same small not-quite-gym-bag. The chase is on._

…

The next step in my campaign was to get him turned on by my intellect. It was crucial, Alice insisted, that I put physical attraction and food first, because those things would hook him, and then my mind could reel him in. Whatever, I just like following these steps. It makes me feel accomplished.

Of course, Edward had already known me for almost six months by this point, so he knew about my eclectic collection of books. As a high school English teacher, he had to suffer through some pretty cringe-worthy massacres of literature. He would sometimes spend hours telling me everything that happened in class, and once he was done venting, we'd break out the beers and discuss books, or writers, or whatever was on our minds.

My favorite discussions were ones where we would both get so involved that for a while I'd forget about the get-Edward-campaign, and he would forget about boundaries, and we would both be all up in each other's space, touching and pushing and looking into each other's eyes to make a point. There always came a moment during such evenings, when I would feel the air around us shift and grow heavy with possibility. His eyes would go dark and his breathing would speed up. Each time, I would be so sure that this was it, he would finally give in, and kiss me with six months' worth of sexual frustration… but no. He would pull back, and hop off to the bathroom, or to get a bottle of water, or something.

A week or so back, I was at my wit's end. I was fairly sure he was interested, and I was letting him know as clearly as possible, that I was so, so interested. I had made sure he was aware that I could pleasure his body, challenge his mind, and provide a comfortable hypothetical home. And yet, he wouldn't step out of the friendzone.

Does my frustration with the situation show?

Then a terrible possibility reared its ugly head. Was he interested in someone else?

So far, I had not even thought about such a thing, for a number of reasons. First, he had never brought anyone home in all the months since I had moved in. Second, his obvious reaction to seeing me with Paul made me believe he was interested in me. Third, he spent all his spare time either hanging out with his brother Emmett, or with me. Fourth, beyond all the attraction, we were best friends, so it was unimaginable that he would not tell me if he liked someone. Fifth, it hurt to even list another woman as a 'maybe'.

As I was saying, a week back, things finally changed. It was a Wednesday, and I was working from home, as usual. My life as a freelance programmer can be so glamorous… not. I wasn't expecting Edward back anytime soon, since he usually had staff meetings that ran late on Wednesdays. So I was more than a little surprised when I heard his door open and shut. I was still standing there, peering out of the inadequate little viewing marble fifteen minutes later, when his door opened again, and he hurried out. He had changed into a t-shirt and jeans, but I couldn't see his hands or anything, so I don't know if he was carrying anything with him.

I didn't immediately find his actions suspicious. People change their routines for all sorts of reasons. It was when I asked him about it later that night, that I started wondering what was really going on.

"Hey, I thought I saw you came home early this afternoon. Everything ok?" I had asked him, casually.

"Today? Nah, I wasn't here. I mean, I had somewhere to be. Nothing important." He wouldn't look in my eyes, and his right knee started bouncing. I knew his tells by now, of course, and I knew he was trying to hide something. I let it be, and would have probably forgotten all about that day's aberration if he hadn't behaved so guilty after that.

For the next couple of days, he continued to be cagey and secretive. He even blushed, which only ever happened when he was embarrassed. I couldn't figure it out.

So of course, I called Alice.

"Hmmm, sounds very unlike him," she agreed, when I was done telling her all that had gone down the last few days. "Hey, do you think he's become a stripper? He probably doesn't want anyone to know; that's why he's embarrassed!"

"While I would pay good money to see that man strip, Alice, I just can't see him do something like that. And for what? He's loaded, and has a steady job. Plus I thought strippers worked nights. Why would he be skipping out on a weekday afternoon?"

"Alright, maybe not. He could have gotten involved in something illegal." Alice was never short of ideas, you see. "Ooh, I know, one of his students was involved in a drug ring, and Edward is going undercover to expose the crime syndicate."

Even I couldn't stop laughing at that one. Edward was a great guy, but going undercover to bust a crime syndicate? Nope, can't see it happening.

"Alice, that's something the cops would do, not a high school teacher. There's something else going on."

She was running late for her Yoga class, so we hung up and promised to talk later. I wondered if maybe we should have another of our epic weekend drink-a-thons, seeing as we were both especially creative drunks.

…

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Wednesday, March 9, 2016_

 _3:30 pm: Subject has entered a nondescript apartment building that has some kind of dance and yoga studio at the ground level. There is also a coffee shop across the street with a clear view of the apartment building entrance. I am now sipping some really good cappuccino and trying to be inconspicuous._

…

It didn't take getting drunk to put me on my current desperate course. It was the fact that on Saturday, at 3 pm, Edward stepped out of his apartment, looked around cautiously, and then with one long look at my door, dashed down the stairs. It was that long look that did it. Whatever he was doing, whatever was embarrassing him so badly, had something to do with me.

I immediately called Alice, and she egged me on to maintain case files, like I was 14 again, and playing at being Nancy Drew. Maybe because I never completely outgrew that phase of my life, I actually did just that. I've now been observing his comings and goings for a full week, and have concluded that he only makes these strange trips on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

That's why I am now sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Seattle on a Wednesday afternoon, waiting impatiently for Edward to exit the building opposite, and hopefully give me some inkling of what on earth he's hiding.

I've just finished my second cup of coffee and am seriously considering getting another slice of that truly delicious moist lemon cake, when a flash of auburn catches my eye.

It's 5:40 pm, and Edward just walked out of the building across the way. He's carrying that little bag again, and is smiling so wide it makes my heart swell. He holds the door open, because he is a gentleman like that, and a gorgeous blonde steps out. She is standing close enough to make me panic. Then she lays a hand on his shoulder and says something in his ear that makes him blush so hard, I can see it from across the road.

She turns and walks off, while he seems to be fiddling around with that little bag of his. Did they…. Is she… I need Alice.

…

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Wednesday, March 9, 2016_

 _6:45 pm: Oh why, oh why, oh why, you tell me la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lies… you never ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-think I would ever rea-lia-lia-lia-lia-lize. Edward likes silly blonde women. I should dye my hair._

…

Alice is not very comforting on weekdays. However, since I really didn't want to go home and spend the rest of the evening hanging out with Edward as his 'friend' while bursting to ask him about the blonde, I cabbed it to Alice's instead. I'm hoping she'll morph into a better friend by the time I've got some wine into her.

"Hey, maybe you were wrong about his money situation. Maybe he lost everything, and had to become a male escort. A gigolo… ooh, I always wanted to say that. It's such a… jiggly word."

"He's not a gigolo, Alice," I pout. I've already started soaking in the wine, and am a little morose. "Maybe he's just having an affair with her, and doesn't want anyone to know, because she's married and her husband would use it for divorce proceedings."

"Maybe we're just being unnecessarily mean to the guy, Bella. What if he's actually putting something awesome together for your birthday, like a huge surprise, and this woman is helping him with that?" Alice and I stare at each other for a moment, before shaking our heads in tandem. "Nah, he would never dare to plan something for you without telling me about it."

"True," I sigh, because unlikely or not, that would have been a pretty awesome scenario. "Plus my birthday is months away."

"So what're you going to do, confront him?" she asks, tipping the bottle upside down and waiting for the last drop to fall into her open mouth. We've been at it for a couple of hours by now, and while our guesses about Edward have gone from 'not entirely impossible' to 'ludicrous', it doesn't seem to matter anymore. He could be learning ballet in a pink tutu, and we would think that made perfect sense, right now.

"Nah," I drawl. "It's not like he really cheated on me or anything. Maybe he just always saw me as a friend. I'm not going to make a bigger fool of myself by confronting him." I snorted elegantly. "What'll I say to him, anyway? Hey, Edward, my detective alter-ego has been tailing your fine ass for a week, and I know all about your secret girlfriend. I'll probably end up crying and begging him to give me a try instead. It's hopeless, Alice. I just have to learn to live with that fact."

Her gentle snores let me know that my soliloquy was hugely unappreciated. I shrug and fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

 _From the Desk of Edward Cullen_

 _Wednesday, March 9, 2016_

 _7:30 pm: It's been a good day so far, but I'm a little worried. Bella isn't home, and her phone isn't reachable. I'll check on her in another hour or so._

I still remember the first time I saw Bella Swan.

It was the end of August, and I was more than ready for school to start. Emmett thought I was nuts, but he didn't really get it. Every summer, I had to endure at least a few weeks of my parents' barely masked despair at my single status, and their good natured attempts at introducing me to 'suitable' women. They were nice enough girls, I'm sure, but I found them boring. I'd rather teach a bunch of hormonal teenagers.

Emmett thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard. Apparently, boring people aren't allowed to call other people boring.

He didn't really have a clue.

Anyway, back in Seattle, I was on my way out to the grocery store when a beautiful voice stopped me in my tracks. I'm sure I looked ridiculous standing there in the foyer of our building, with my eyes shut and a stupid grin on my face. Luckily for me, no one else was around that time of the afternoon. The voice died away, and I remembered that I was on my way out. I had barely taken two steps, when the most beautiful woman walked out of the building superintendant's office.

"Thanks so much, Mr. Greer," she said, holding up a key very similar to my own. "I'll bring around my stuff tomorrow morning, then."

I saw that she was moving towards the outer door, so I rushed there and held it open for her. She looked up at me, her eyes wide with surprise, and then her lips curved up into a gorgeous smile.

"Thank you so much," she said. "I didn't know the building had a doorman."

I stood there opening and shutting my mouth like a fish, but nothing came out. She had stolen my words. Then she laughed and said, "I'm joking. See you around."

I made sure she did. The next day, I practically haunted the foyer until I saw her draw up outside the building in a rusted red truck. Hauling heavy boxes is really more Emmett's thing, but I spent the better part of my day doing just that. Socializing, and spending time with people I barely know is also more Emmett's MO, yet I spent most of the day hanging out with Bella, her dad, and her friend Jacob—and I was happy about it.

I was thrilled when I realized she was moving into the apartment across the hall from mine. The only fly in my ointment was Jacob. Not that he tried to go all caveman on me, or even did anything to suggest that they were more than friends. On the contrary, it was obvious that their relationship was more along the lines of siblings.

The thing was, Jacob was built a lot like Emmett. I saw Bella watching the two of us once or twice, as we stood side by side, and I wanted to sink into the floor with embarrassment. I am tall, but lean. No matter how hard he tried, Em was never able to make a gym rat of me. I like running, and well, with a brother like him, I do at least try to stay toned and fit. But if it came down to a comparison, I knew I probably looked like a limp noodle next to Jacob.

I really didn't want to look like a limp noodle in front of this girl.

Luckily for me, she was as sweet as she was beautiful, and in the next few months, never, not even by the flicker of her eyelashes, did she make me feel like she was judging me. That just made me fall for her a little harder, and a little more hopelessly.

I started thinking that I might have a chance with her.

And then one evening, I came back from a run, to see her at her door, with yet another muscle-bound moron. She was going on a date with a man who looked buff enough to pulverize me with his bare hands. That didn't prevent me from wanting to wring his muscular neck, though. Maybe it was a good thing that they didn't stick around long. I spent the evening pacing my apartment, wondering how I could ever compete with men like that, if that's what Bella liked.

…

 _From the Desk of Edward Cullen_

 _Wednesday, March 9, 2016_

 _11:30 pm: Still no sign of Bella. She still isn't taking calls. Neither is Alice. I'm freaking out._

…

The moment when I realized I was really falling in love with her was not very dramatic. No fireworks, or chorus of angels or anything.

There was a city-wide blackout. I wasn't too bothered, beyond the obvious inconvenience, but I knew Bella would be. She was petrified of the dark. She actually had a collection of nightlights in her room… a string of fairy lights above her bed, a miniature R2D2 nightlight on her bedside table, a squat pumpkin light on her bookshelf, a rotating stars-and-moon light that projected onto her ceiling, and a small fake aquarium with glowing fish, among others. She told me that every night, she would turn on whichever suited her mood.

With the blackout, however, she would have to sleep in the dark. Luckily, I had a bunch of candles from last year, when Em and I had organized a fancy dinner at my place for our parents' anniversary. Mom loved scented candles, so we had bought a few and placed them around. She was delighted, and said it gave the entire dinner a certain touch of class. Right now, I just hoped they gave Bella a touch of comfort.

She had opened her door looking small, and frightened, and not at all like the Bella I was used to seeing. It just made me want to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go. Her excitement at my suggestion that we have a sleepover, the sheer delight in her eyes when I brought out the candles and lit them all, and the warmth of her smile, illuminated by the yellow, flickering light… it was as if something clicked into place at that moment, and I just knew. I was in love with Bella Swan.

I so desperately wanted Bella to be part of my life that I was willing to take whatever I could get. I deliberately insinuated myself into her life. I became her go-to guy. I soaked up every little detail about her like a sponge.

It didn't take long for my nosy family to notice.

The first person was, of course, Emmett. He was over at my place one evening, rummaging through my fridge and telling me about his new girlfriend, Rosalie. He really seemed taken with her, and was trying to talk me into meeting her that weekend. All I wanted to do was finish grading essays, and then spend the rest of my weekend as close to Bella as possible.

"It'll do you good to get out of this place for an evening now and then. And maybe when you see how lovely my Rosie is, you'll get off your ass and find someone like her yourself."

The words were barely out of his mouth when a loud knock sounded on my door—one long, and three short raps. I couldn't hold back my grin upon hearing Bella's signature knock, a 'B' in Morse code. I threw the door open and pulled her in, squeezing her soft hand in mine for a moment before releasing her and glaring at Emmett, who was gaping at her as if he'd never seen a girl before.

"Hi, I'm Bella, Edward's neighbor. You Emmett?" She was adorable, and I had to work really hard to keep the lovesick grin off my face. Emmett would never have let me live that down.

"Hey, B, Em wants me to meet his girlfriend this Saturday. You want to come along?" I asked as casually as I could. I managed to keep my cool face on long enough for her to think it over.

"Sure," she said. "Just tell me what time to be ready."

Predictably, Emmett loved Bella. So it was no surprise when mom showed up at my place on the flimsiest of excuses, just three days later. Emmett was always the mama's boy, no matter what anyone may say.

"I hear you have a new neighbor." Esme Cullen likes to think she's smooth, but she really isn't.

"Ma, I know Emmett gossips with you. Tell me, did he at least wait till he got out of the elevator before he called you?"

"That doesn't answer my question," she deflected, as if I wouldn't notice how she hadn't answered mine either.

I took her out for lunch, and we kept at it throughout the meal—mom plying me with pointed questions, and me avoiding them like a champ. We were just done with dessert and I thought I was home safe on this one, when my phone rang.

It was Alice, frantic because Bella had been taken to the hospital. She had slipped and fallen on the sidewalk after meeting a client, and had managed to sprain her ankle in the process. I forgot all about trying to stay cool and hide my feelings from mom. It was far more important to get to Bella as soon as humanly possible.

"Come on, we'll take my car," said mom. I realized she had already taken care of the check, and we were ready to go. I had never been more grateful.

Fortunately for my blood pressure, it wasn't long before I was able to see Bella, looking a little bruised, and with her foot in a brace. She also had a nasty friction burn along the length of her forearm from when she must have tried to break her fall. But while I cataloged all this information in my brain automatically, I was really only focused on my beautiful girl's eyes, which were mercifully clear, and practically gleaming with mirth as she happily recounted the event that had landed her in hospital a Saturday morning.

It took us another hour to get Bella discharged and safely back home. It only took mom and Bella about five seconds after that to exchange numbers and email ids. It should have freaked me out, but all I felt was an incredible sense of rightness.

…

 _From the Desk of Edward Cullen_

 _Thursday, March 10, 2016_

 _2 am: I think I just got a drunk text from Bella: 'Edrrrd y? U sekrt gigggloi' followed by a string of strange emoticons. I have no idea what she means, but at least she's safe… and thinking of me. I'm going to try to sleep now._

…

Being around Bella was always the most exquisite kind of torture, but it seemed to get worse after her accident. I guess she didn't want to chafe her bruises and scrapes, because she started wearing rather more… revealing clothes. I wasn't complaining. At all. My body was particularly happy with this new turn of events. It was often _hard_ to hide my happiness. _Heh heh_.

My brain was happy too, for it figured that she was now so comfortable around me that she didn't feel the need to cover up so much.

She couldn't come along that weekend to meet Em's new girlfriend, but as far as the rest of the Cullens were concerned, we were just one big happy Bella Swan fan club. The only thing missing was the matching buttons and bumper stickers.

Then, she started cooking. We'd shared meals in the past, but they were usually light snacks, takeout, or whatever either of us happened to have at hand. What she was feeding me now was a series of meals that required thought, planning, and care. She even started baking. I sometimes suspected that mom had been trying to do some helpful meddling, maybe encouraging her to make my favorites, but it was not something I was ever going to complain about.

Bella had moved on from being the gorgeous girl next door I lusted after, to a domestic goddess I wanted to worship for the rest of my life. I was so ready to just throw my insecurities aside and declare my undying love for her.

Then Rose threw a spanner into the works.

…

 _From the Desk of Edward Cullen_

 _Thursday, March 10, 2016_

 _5 pm: School was torture. Teenage couples and their obnoxious displays of affection are particularly grating when the woman you love doesn't respond to your texts all day._

…

Emmett was completely enamored of Rose. They had been dating for just over four months, but he was already planning a proposal, and had begged me to help him out.

His plan was simple, but surprisingly thoughtful. Rose taught dance at an academy downtown. The ballroomers would be putting up a performance in mid-May, and Emmett's plan was to propose on-stage. A grand gesture, if you will.

He wanted to surprise her with a waltz, but this is Emmett we are talking about. He had made fun of me all through junior and middle school because I used to play piano and learn ballet. So when he begged and pleaded me to teach him some moves so he could impress his Rose, I saw how the universe was giving me the chance to get a little revenge.

So, I made him sweat a bit, but finally relented.

Unfortunately, Emmett sucks at keeping secrets. Within three days of covertly meeting me for dance lessons, Rose got suspicious. It took her all of four minutes to get him to spill his guts about trying to learn to waltz to impress her. He managed to keep the proposal plans secret. For now, anyway.

I figured I was off the hook, since Rose wanted to teach him herself. I strongly suspected that it was just another excuse for them to make out in a semi-public location.

I got back to screwing up my courage to tell Bella how I felt.

Then Rose called me up one evening, and asked me to come over to her dance studio. She had a proposition that I couldn't refuse, but I knew I had to hide this from Bella. I was so close to becoming the manly man she could love, but if she found out what I was doing for Rose… it would just end everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Thursday, March 10, 2016_

 _5:30 pm: Edward has tried to contact me several times today, but I haven't taken his calls or answered his texts. I'm too mortified to do so. I apparently sent him a text at 2 am asking if he was a gigolo. There is no getting around that. Maybe I'll just move back to Forks._

…

The morning after the night to end all nights has been pretty bleak so far. Or maybe not. Bleak makes me think of misty, gloomy moors with not a ray of sunlight, etc. My day so far has involved puking and hammering headaches on the one unfortunate day the sun decided to shine. In other words, everything hurts.

One of the benefits of working from home is that I can really take my time savoring a mid-week hangover. I'm thinking of putting that on my resume.

Yes, I'm just trying to avoid thinking of the unicorn prancing around my room and my head and my heart. I strongly suspect I might have overreacted yesterday, and Alice, being the enabler she is, just made things seem worse. Or maybe that was the alcohol. Either way, I am not completely irrational, so I know there may be several perfectly innocent reasons for Edward to have been sneaking off to that place every week. And as for the blonde, I'm taking it as a good sign that they weren't pawing at each other or kissing off each other's lips. I may be cackling a little at the mental picture of blondie roaming around without her suckers. Hah.

No, my problem this morning, or evening, as the case may be, is that I don't know how to behave around Edward right now. Somewhere along the way, these past few months, my crush on my dishy neighbor has bloomed into pure, unadulterated love. That's what made me get off my lazy ass and get all prettified for him. That's what inspired me to cook his favorite food for him. That's what made me feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and squished on the sidewalk when that blondie was with my man yesterday.

I'm in love with my unicorn. And I'm petrified that he doesn't feel the same way about me. In a perfect world, he would, you know? And in a perfect world I wouldn't be such a chicken shit, too scared to even answer his texts.

Damn it, what am I supposed to do?

 **.._.._..**

 _From the Desk of Edward Cullen_

 _Thursday, March 10, 2016_

 _6 pm: I am going over to Bella's place. One way or another, we need to figure out where we are at. If she gives me the slightest hint of liking me, I'm going to lay my heart bare. If she wants to trample over it, so be it. But Bella is not cruel. And I really think she might like me._

…

I knock on her door, and I can hear a high pitched squeal on the other side. I put my ear to the door, and can make out some scrambling noises, then a patter of feet approaching the door, pausing, scrambling away, then approaching again… I am so involved with picturing what might be going on in there, I'm taken unawares when the door is suddenly jerked open. I stumble sideways, and grab onto the nearest object, which just happens to be Bella. We stagger like drunks for a moment, before finding our feet.

The breath rushes out of my body when I realize how close we are—how her arms are gripping my biceps, and mine are wrapped around her narrow waist. It would take so little for me to dip my head, like so, and press my lips to hers.

She licks her lips, and I wonder in a daze why they seem so much closer than they were a moment ago. My eyes flick up to her eyes, and they seem a lot closer too.

Her eyes glance down to my lips, and it becomes difficult to breathe. I realize we are both moving closer and closer, and I don't want to back away. Not now, not ever.

So I give in. I gently nudge her nose with mine, before softly touching her lips with mine. Our eyes close and I can feel the flutter of her long eyelashes against my cheek. Again and again, I lightly press my lips to hers and pull back. Even this chaste contact is enough to spark a supernova of sensation. My lips part and I sneakily lick at her lower lip, before sucking it for a moment. I pull away, and repeat the action, nearly groaning out loud when she mirrors my actions. Our tongues graze against each other, and an uncontrollable shiver runs up my spine.

It jolts me back to my senses, and I lean back slightly. I won't lie, it is very gratifying to see Bella following the movement, leaning into me, with her eyes closed, and her lips slightly parted. They are so plump, glistening red and inviting, I nearly give in and just go back to kissing her. But then her eyes open, and the look in them is so heartbreakingly open and guileless… my love for her stands between us, and reminds me to do this the right way.

I step back and disengage from our close embrace, sliding my hands around to grip hers.

"Bella, where have you been? I was so worried about you. Is everything ok?" I'm trying hard not to stumble over my words.

She blinks, then looks down at our hands, and back up. She licks her lips as though unsure if we did just kiss. I might puff out my chest a little at the thought that she might fantasize about kissing me.

"Um yeah," she says, finally, pulling me into the apartment and shutting the door. "I was with Alice. We got drunk."

"In the middle of the week? And without me? Hey, I'm hurt." We both sit on the couch in our usual places, but this time, I drop an arm around her shoulders and pull her toward me. "Were you upset about something?"

She tries to stop her head from nodding, but this is Bella. She really doesn't do subterfuge well. At least, not around me.

"Was it something I did?" Again, her head starts to nod, but she has better control this time, and turns it into a shrug.

"So clearly, it is something I did," I surmise, ignoring the wariness in her big brown eyes. "I'm done hiding stuff from you, Bella. Ask me."

She seems really surprised for some reason.

"Who's the blonde? And where do you go on Wednesdays and Saturdays? And why'd you lie about it?" She blurts it all out in one go, sucking in a long breath when she's done. She claps her hand over her mouth and looks like she can't believe she actually said that.

…

 _The Bella Swan Case Files_

 _Thursday, March 10, 2016_

 _6:30 pm: I feel like Nancy Drew has finally reached the last chapter of the mystery. But I'm fairly sure she never had it so easy. Edward kissed me, but I'll flail about that later. Right now, he is taking me to that place downtown, so I can see what he's been up to. If you ever wondered about teachers taking 'show-and-tell' seriously, here's your answer._

…

I point out the coffee shop from where I spied on him. I'm feeling fairly sheepish, but he seems to find the whole thing hilarious. He even asked to see my case files. As if that will ever happen. I must remember to burn them when I get home.

We enter the building, go down a well-lit hallway, and through a pair of glass double doors. I realize it's the Dance and Yoga Studio a split second before I see the tastefully designed logo behind the reception.

What, he was learning dance? That was so hot for so many reasons.

He just waves at the young guy at the reception desk and leads me through another set of double doors. I recognize the space from my childhood—it's a ballet studio, much like the one I used to frequent all those years ago. A group of kids, maybe five or six years old, are having a class, so we quietly move ahead, to what looks like a rather comfortable lounge.

A woman looks up from the papers she was reading at a desk. Her face breaks into a huge smile, and she walks up to Edward and hugs him. Right in front of me. Brazen Hussy.

It's the blonde, of course.

Edward hugs her back, but doesn't let go of my hand. My head is spinning with possibilities that would make Alice proud. Was he into threesomes? Or was he into one of those 'open relationship' things? I didn't know about threesomes, but no way was I going to willingly let another woman enjoy Edward or his unicorn… If I had him. I kind of thought I did when he was kissing me, back home, but right now the haze of red was making it difficult to figure it out.

"Rose, I want you to meet Bella. I'm sure Em has told you all about her."

Em? Rose? As in, Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend? The world suddenly seems a brighter, happier place.

"Aha, so this is the elusive Bella Swan!" Blondie… I mean, Rosalie, seems genuinely happy to see me. "Girl, the number of times I didn't get to meet you, I was sure you didn't really exist. You know, like Edward was just making up this super-hot, amazing girlfriend to sound like he had a life? But Emmett, Esme and Carlisle all swore you were real, so I took their word for it." She has me wrapped up in an enthusiastic hug, and I could swear she sniffed my hair as she drew back.

Edward is sputtering and stuttering all this while. He's gone rather red in the face, and I can see a little sweat on his brow.

"Rose, no, she… we aren't.."

Before he can tie himself up into any more knots, I casually slip my hand through the crook of his arm. "Yup, we're for real," I say. Best to keep it simple, right?

That seems to settle something inside him. With a quick smile and smolder at me, he turns back to Rose. "I was actually hoping to show her what I was doing here, if that's ok with you."

"Oh, you haven't told her about the kids?" Rose seems surprised. "I kind of twisted his arm to come teach the kids ballet a couple times a week. He's a really good teacher, and so popular already." She's practically beaming with pride.

I'm sure I look like my eyes are about to bug out.

Edward, my hot neighbor, my sexy unicorn, teaches ballet to little kids. Cue ovaries exploding.

I so want to mount him right this minute, but one niggling question is holding me back.

"So why'd you try to hide it from me?" I barely register Rose's amused look, before she walks out, leaving us alone in the lounge.

Edward combs his fingers through his hair in a gesture of defeat. "I was embarrassed. I thought you'd see me as less of a man if you knew." He practically scuffs his feet. He's so cute. And so, so deluded. "I mean, I saw how you were looking at me and Jake that first day, comparing us. And there was that guy you dated. You like those manly cavemen with bulging muscles, and I teach high school English, and ballet." He practically spits out that last word, as if it tastes bad.

I really can't help it. I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard my sides hurt, and I'm hunched over like a little old woman I probably will be some day. It seems like a pertinent point to make, somehow. "One day, I'm going to be a little old woman, hunched over like this all the time."

He gapes at me. I can tell the exact minute his mind finds something dirty about what I just said.

"What? You have to tell me." I'm good at pestering people to tell me things. It's kind of my superpower.

"Ah, it's just, if you were bent over like that, I'm sure I'd like it. In fact, I'd love to see you like that every day." His eyes have glazed over, and suddenly I know exactly what he's thinking. I like it.

"You would, huh?" I practically coo as I shimmy closer. It seems to be the thing to do, given that it's a dance studio and all. I have to rein myself in from breaking out the jazz hands. "I might like that."

"Then I might have to make it happen." He's all happy and coy and cute. It makes me want to kiss the shit out of him.

So I do. Hey, I never claimed to have much impulse control.

This kiss is a lot more intense and demanding than the last one we shared. There's also a lot more tongue involved. It's soft, and smooth, and hard and rough, and every kind of contradiction that makes this world worth living in.

"Bella," he pants, his breath hitting my lips in short bursts, "I love you. I've loved you for months, but I didn't think you'd ever want someone like me."

"Stop with the insecurity, Edward," I cut in, because seriously, that shit has got to stop. "I'm so in love with you, but I might have to cut you off if you ever put yourself down that way again. The only time I ever compared you to other men, was when I was thinking how much more appealing you were to me. I mean seriously, I actually got recipes from Esme for your favorite food! Ask Jake sometime how often I cook stuff that he likes. And that guy I went on one date with… that was because I was sad that you didn't like me! Ugh, you're so dense. I've been trying to get you to notice me for months now!"

He seems to find my rant reassuring, and swoops in for another bone-melting kiss.

"I've been trying to get you to notice me for months, too," he laughs, coming back to peck my lips, as though he can't bear to be away from them for any length of time. I'm kind of ok with that.

"So, hey, you and me, babe… how about it?" I sing, slightly off key.

He sputters against my lips, which is a really interesting sensation, before hugging me close to his heart.

"I love you like the starts above, I'll love you till I die," he croons, a lot more in tune than I was.

Then he steps back, takes my hand and leads me off into the sunset.

 _(Or outside, into a cab, and back to my apartment, or his… it hardly matters. We're together, the case is closed, and Alice is going to have a conniption when she hears how it all went down.)_


End file.
